Birth Parents Blog

10 Tips for When the Holidays Have You Feeling Down

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on December 23, 2019

For many birth mothers, the holidays are a difficult time. On top of the stress of the holidays, it can be hard to deal with all the family members you’ll see and nosy questions they ask. Plus, since the holidays are often centered on children, many birth mothers may struggle during this season and its traditions.

It’s perfectly normal to feel like you’re missing out during this time. While many birth mothers dread the holidays, there are a few ways you can get through the season. These 10 tips have helped many birth mothers manage grief and stress during the holidays. We hope thatthey’ll help you, too!

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Topics: Holidays, life after adoption, post-adoption, adoption and loss, adoption grief

Tackling the Holidays as a Birth Mom: Grappling Through Grief and Loss

Posted by Guest Contributor on December 18, 2018

Adrian C. Collins is both a birth mom and an adoptive mom, and she writes and speaks about the complexities of adoption. In today's guest post, Adrian shares real-life tips on getting through grief during the holidays, as a birth mom.

Our family is a huge fan of the CBS television show, The Amazing Race, where teams embark on a trek around the world to compete for a one million dollar prize. At every destination, each team must compete in a series of challenges, and only when the tasks are completed will they learn of their next destination.

In one challenge, partners were asked to play a round of volleyball against professional players in Estonia and only had to score five points to complete the challenge before finishing that leg of the race. Some assumed the challenge to be a breeze. What teams didn’t realize, was that they were playing volleyball in mud. The mud was so deep it rose to players’ waistline and so thick it caused participants to become stuck. As the opponents balls whizzed past, contestants could only stand in one place. They became entrenched by circumstances. 

As a birth mom, I’ve often felt wedged by grief and loss during the holiday season. A million little things are whizzing by—and I’m grasping for joy, peace and love—but instead I feel anchored by loss. Unable to move. Unable to catch my breath. Unable to celebrate.

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Topics: Holidays, life after adoption, post-adoption, postadoption depression, why do women choose adoption?, contact with my baby, adoption and loss, adoption grief