Birth Parents Blog

Relationship Q&A: I’m Tired of Cleaning Up After Him!

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on December 20, 2014

doing_his_laundryQuestion: I love my boyfriend so much. But I get tired of doing all of his housework. How can I tell him this without making him upset with me?

Answer: WOW! You must be a hard worker. But, unfortunately, you are working way too hard in this relationship. It sounds like you’re giving more of yourself to this relationship than he is. You’re doing ALL of his housework because you think that will keep him happy, right? That actually couldn’t be farther from the truth. I can totally understand what you’re thinking though. I’ve been there. I had a boyfriend who loved me, as long as I was cleaning up and taking care of him like a mother would take care of her child. I had him so spoiled.

Well, one day, I decided that I wanted to be in a relationship with a REAL MAN and not a spoiled brat. So, I told him that I couldn’t do all of that for him anymore. He did get upset. So, I can’t say that there is anything that you can say to keep your man from getting upset. But, when my boyfriend got upset, so did I! I felt like he had taken my kindness, love, and LABOR for granted, and the fact that he resented me not wanting to be his maid anymore made me very angry and I left him and his dirty clothes alone!

You can tell him nicely by saying something like, “I enjoy being with you, not just while I’m cleaning your house.” Say it with a laugh, but use it as a way to break the ice for the more serious conversation that you need to have. Then, if he can’t hear you or he gets “upset”, let him go! You should never do more for a boyfriend than he is willing to do for you, and spoiling him will make your life miserable because you will end up resenting yourself and your wasted time more than ever!

Topics: relationship Q&A