After I found out I was pregnant, I was positive of my choice to parent. Many people, including my best friend and sister, tried to force their opinions on me. Some said I should have an abortion; others said I should give the baby up for adoption; and still others insisted I should keep the baby. I was really scared, but I thought my only choice was to keep my daughter. My mother had me when she was just 18, and I turned out fine. I just kept thinking that if she could do it, so could I. I really never even considered an abortion.
I did consider adoption, but felt like I would be giving up if I just gave my daughter away. Thoughts of being a failure overwhelmed me, and I thought if I tried hard enough I could be a good mother.
So I had my daughter. I knew my boyfriend was going to have little to do with the baby and me, but I was prepared for that, and I did the best I could. My mother and sister were willing to help me out where they could. But as the days went on, I realized that I was not providing the best home for my daughter. I was going to high school all day and trying to work at night, staying up until 1 and 2 in the morning trying to get my homework done. I felt I was doing the best I could with everything in my life. Then one evening I was leaving my job at the mall, and I saw a family leaving at the same time.
The mother and father were holding hands with their child in between them. The little girl was counting “1, 2, 3” and then the parents were lifting her up in the air as she yelled with delight. I stopped dead in my tracks. Suddenly I realized, “Somewhere is a family that can provide that kind of home for my daughter. A mother and father are out there just waiting for a child to love.”
I started thinking about why I hadn’t chosen adoption for my daughter. I realized that I had not wanted to explain it to everyone. I wasn’t thinking about what was best for her or even what was best for me, I was just thinking about what others would think. I decided that my daughter was the most important thing in the world and she deserved me at least checking into adoption. She deserved the chance to have the life I dreamed of for her. I had heard about open adoption and how I could know how she was doing throughout her life. So I got the information I needed.
I found a really cool couple to adopt my daughter. They send me pictures and updates of her almost every month. Now when people ask why I chose adoption, I simply answer, “Because my daughter is the most important thing in the world to me. And she deserves to have the best parents in the world.” My choice was the right one for me and for her.
If you would like to receive more information about adoption like I did, here are some sites of organizations that can help you.
Here is an adoption answer line. They helped me with my questions and can help you, too: 1-800-923-6784.