Birth Parents Blog

I don't think I can do this on my own!

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on June 19, 2009

Dear Mardie,
I watched the show tonight about being a pregnant teen. I can relate. I am almost 16. My baby is 3 months old. When I found out I was pregnant, I was lucky because my family was behind me. But being pregnant was the easy part. I mean it was hard, and labor was awful, but I definitely didn't think it was going to be like this after my baby came. Taking care of my baby is really hard- my mom started help with me in the beginning, but she had to go back to work and now me and Lauren are home alone all day and I don't even have a license so I can get out and have some freedom. I have to take care of everything on my own at home. I mean I am up all night and then up early to feed her and then hardly have time for my friends or doing things I like. As soon as I start to get dressed or put my makeup on the baby starts crying. I really didn't think it would be like this. I was so excited but it is so much work. It's like I just take care of her and if I'm lucky I get some sleep. Everything is about the baby, and then people are judging me or telling me how to take care of Lauren like I'm stupid or something.

My mom is getting on my nerves, she said she would help but it's all me, taking care of the baby. She won’t take over when I ask. Like she tells me all day what I should be doing or how to I should do something, but then at night she says she needs her sleep and then goes to bed. This is so different and I just don’t know if I can do this forever. I can't take this much longer. The baby cries a lot and my friends hardly come over to see me. I am so tired all the time.

My friends don’t understand and they barely text me or call anymore. I haven’t had a date since before I was showing and the baby’s father has a new girlfriend. I wish I could go out with my friends but I am so tired and just cry and fight with my mom. I am alone. My mom says we can't afford for her to take time off work to take me to the DMV to get my license and that even if I had my license we couldn't afford the insurance and I won't get a car. I feel like she treats me like a little kid. I need some independence. I am hoping it will all be better in a few months, but I don't know.

I am not sure I can do this, but I am rethinking my decision. I love my baby but I don’t think I can do this on my own much longer. A friend told me I should do adoption when I was pregnant but I didn't want to carry a baby for all those months and then just give it away. But now I wonder if I made the wrong choice. I still don't know. It would be hard not to see my baby or know how she's doing. But I want a life; I really do want to live again. Is it too late to change my mind? Help.
~Lizzie from Ohio

Dear Lizzie,
It took guts for you to share your feelings here and I appreciate that you put it all out there. Many times women are too afraid to speak out about the difficulties they face with a baby. Your feelings and challenges are real, and it may sometimes feel like you are stuck. But you still have options. A woman can choose to make an open adoption plan for her baby at any time, even after the baby is born. Learning the facts about adoption will help you decide if it's going to be the best move for your baby's future, and your future.

With open adoption you can:

    • choose your baby's adoptive parents and the exact lifestyle you desire for your baby


    • talk with and meet the adoptive parents before you do the adoption


    • get free, confidential counseling and support


    • stay in touch with the adoptive parents after the adoption and even have visits


    • make goals for after the adoption and pursue them


  • qualify for scholarships available only to women who chose adoption for their baby

Since you're not sure yet if adoption would be the right thing to do now, I recommend that you read the latest book for teens on adoption, So I Was Thinking About Adoption. You can download a FREE copy of So I Was Thinking About Adoption by clicking here. Find out more about the book by visiting You may also request a free copy of the book by mail if you call
1-800-923-6784. I think that this little book will be an approachable, low pressure way for you to figure out if adoption is something you could get serious about. You never know! Maybe an open adoption is the best way to provide your baby and yourself with the lives you hope for. You'll only find out if you read more of the facts about adoption. Look into your heart and at your realities and keep asking questions, Lizzie. If you need more information on adoption call 1-800-923-6784 anytime.

Topics: Adoption, Pregnancy, children, unplanned pregnancy, 16 and Pregnant, MTV