Birth Parents Blog

How to Get Over a Difficult Break-up

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on January 25, 2014

Before you meet your “Mr. Right”, you’ll undoubtedly go through a lot of break ups. If you were the person dumped, you might feel shocked and confused. After a break up, you may be feeling anxious to get answers as to why he dumped you. Even if there were warning signs before the break up that things weren’t going so hot, it’s easy to want to hold on to the memory of the past and how good it was. So why do we long for a relationship with someone who’s no longer available to us?

Recently, scientists have hypothesized that we become "addicted" to a desire for the past. This is why many times after a break up, you remember everything from that relationship in an optimistic light. When you think about your relationship, you only remember the times when he was kind and loving. This will keep you stuck with a broken heart; by fixating so much on the past, you won’t be able to move forward and start a new, healthy relationship.

The best way to stop obsessing over a past relationship is to make yourself evaluate it. It’s time that you step back and remember some of the things that were not so perfect about your relationship. (Because let’s face it, if it was so perfect, you'd still be together). You have to put an end to your daydreams and let yourself see how he wasn't faultless, and neither were you.

By taking stock of your relationship, you can avoid further pain. People change and their feelings change too. Sometimes we don't know why — they just do.

So, you’ll need to stop holding onto old memories for proof he still loves you. Don’t let your desire for that relationship take over your thinking. The best thing you can do is accept the change in his feelings (even if he can't explain it) and you don't understand it. Avoid looking back and start to look forward again to meet your Mr. Right!

Topics: Relationships