If you're considering adoption, it helps to hear from women who have been in your shoes. When you read other women's stories, you'll learn why they chose adoption as well as the emotions, relationships, and opportunities these women have had since they placed.
Today, we're sharing Alyssa's adoption story. We hope by reading about how she came to adoption, you'll get insight and perspective as you begin your own adoption journey.
"In the summer of 2016 I was twenty-two years old and working hard to establish myself as a successful sales professional at a large real estate company. I was learning fast and was pushing myself every day to surpass my personal goals, working six days a week and putting in 12-hour days. It was a commission-based role with no salary and sales would sometimes take weeks to close. I knew that I had to make the sacrifice to be successful in my future.
It was around the time that at a routine trip to the gyno, I received some shocking, unexpected news. I'd been using the NuvaRing so I felt that I was protected from getting pregnant. My doctor had told me that I could avoid my period by simply leaving the ring in. Because I wasn't getting my period, I had no sign if I was pregnant or not. For whatever reason, I did end up getting pregnant. I was already three months along by the time I found out. I spoke with my doctor about my different options and went home with a great deal to think about.
My boyfriend, Michael, already had a daughter and was dealing with many issues with the mother of his child. So, he was very confident that he did not want any more children; it wasn't even up for discussion. He wanted me to have an abortion. Our relationship was very unstable. We did not do much but fight, and he was very abusive to me, not only physically but mentally and emotionally as well.
To avoid confrontation, I agreed to have an abortion and told him that I would take a day off and drive myself there. He didn't even argue that he wanted to be there for me; he just let me go alone.
Although I had agreed to go to the doctor, I could not bring myself to do it because the baby was already in my womb for four months and it just seemed wrong. I told Michael that I had the operation and that it was all over. I continued to live with him throughout the pregnancy and convinced him that I was just gaining weight. I don't even know why he believed me; I guess he just didn't pay much attention to me.
Throughout the time of the pregnancy, I didn't see any of my friends or any of my family. I left my job because I was embarrassed to tell the truth about what was going on. I had no insurance and was not receiving medical care but was taking my prenatal vitamins and eating the best that I could. Nobody knew what I was going through but me.
One morning I woke up at about 5 am with terrible cramps. They progressed quickly, and before long they were hard to breathe through. All I could do was lie on the couch. My boyfriend left for work thinking I was just having my period.
I read online that taking a bath can soothe the pains of labor so I would switch from the bathtub to the couch for a few hours until the pain became excruciating. Since I didn't feel that I could labor alone, so I got in my car and drove to the hospital. I never noticed how bumpy those roads were until then!
After my son was born, I contacted Lifetime to make a last-minute adoption plan. The Adoption Coordinator I talked to was a huge help and understood my situation and made me feel that I didn't have to be ashamed. I was just relieved that it was all over and that I would be able to move on with my life.
When I was pregnant, I was afraid to work and to go to school. My whole life was on hold because I was scared of what people would think, how they would look at me and if they would ask me questions. Now that I have my body and my life back I want to better myself and advance in my career.
As I look back on what I went through during my pregnancy and what I gave up to give a child life and a family a new baby, I do not have regrets. My life was put aside so that I could give my son the stability and family he deserves. But now, I'm ready to put my goals and my advancement first. I'm prepared to be a success and begin a fulfilling career. After completing my course, I'll be able to get a great job working in an environment that I love. My life will be whole again, at last."