"At 19, I was making bad life decisions and wound up pregnant. I was having a rough first year of college, and my self-esteem was at an all-time low. I started acting recklessly, drinking a lot, and sleeping around. To escape I drank, and sleeping around was a fix for the intimacy I was looking for.
I met the guy who would become my son’s father, and we were about to become exclusive. But because I drank so much, I’d make some poor decisions and didn’t know for sure if he was the father. I was in a dark place.
Learning that I was pregnant was alarming: it felt like my life was over. But at the same time, it was a huge wake-up call saying, “Get your life on track! You have an innocent life to start taking care of!” I stopped drinking, having random hookups, and I started to think about someone other than myself. My one and only ambition was to give my baby the best life I could.
But, I knew that having a baby out of wedlock wasn’t something I wanted for my children. What I wanted was for my child to grow up with a mom and a dad from the very start who had a stable, loving marriage, and a stable life. I knew that I wasn’t at that point in my life yet. It just wasn’t the right time in my life for me to become a mom. I felt like it wasn’t fair that my son should suffer because of the careless choices I made.
Adoption was the choice I ended up making, but it wasn’t easy. It would have been much easier for me to keep my son and parent him, but I chose adoption out my love for him. This wasn’t the time to think about myself. I chose adoption because I wanted to give my son the best life I could.
If you’re thinking about adoption for your baby, I suggest that you find a good support system and to get counseling. I took advantage of both the professional counseling and peer counseling that Lifetime offered me, and I’m so glad I did. Also, I recommend you take however much time you need to make sure that adoption is the right choice for you. The coordinators at Lifetime aren’t there to sell you on adoption or pressure you. They’re there to give you info, help you find the right adoptive family, and to be there for you when you need it most."