Here's a question asked of Lifetime's adoption experts during a recent Facebook Live video: "What is a good gift for our child’s birth mother to show that we care? Could I make her something?" What a touching and thoughtful open adoption question! We'd like to share our answer with you here today.
What you give your child's birth mother as a gift will vary, depending on the relationship that you take the time to make with her, as well as what her desires and preferences are.
When birth mothers fill out adoption paperwork with Lifetime, they share with us what their favorites are and some of the things that they like to do. When you're officially matched with a birth mother, your Adoption Coordinator will tell you about her hobbies and favorites. So, referring to that info is a good place to start.
As you get to know the birth mother a little better and develop a relationship with her, you’ll discover her interests. It may even end up being that you share a few hobbies and interests!
For your gift to your child's birth mother, we suggest putting together a gift basket. Assembling a gift basket allows you pick and choose items that you know she'll love! It also shows that you put a lot of thought and warmth into the gift. Items like gift cards, body wash, candles, and lotion are great.
We also suggest including something in the basket which she can have as a keepsake. Something that she can hold onto in the future that’s a nice remembrance of this time. The keepsake item doesn’t have to be expensive, just something that’s nice, that’s special, and that she can hang onto. Put a little something that’s tangible and a memento along with the nice pampering items. Then, if she happens not to be the type who’s into something sentimental, like a keepsake, then it’s great she also has the pampering gifts.
When you arrive at the hospital as your birth mother is in labor, it’s nice to have a little something to give her. Flowers convey the feeling of a celebration. So, you might consider a nice green potted plant.
Keep the birth mother’s needs in mind too. Every woman is different, and their situations are all different. So as you get more acquainted with her, you’ll have a better idea of what kind of gift she’d like.