This Q&A is part one in our blog series What Adoptive Parents Ask.
Adoptive parents ask: "I read about a possible birth mother on your site that would be a perfect match for us. Can you make sure she knows about us?"
ANSWER: Remember, birth mothers are also looking for the right match too. If she feels pressured toward a particular adoptive family she may not move forward with adoption at all. Let her choose you for her baby. Sometimes these common misconceptions may surface for adoptive parents: “Surely she would choose us if she only got to know us!” or “The reason we haven’t been chosen yet must be because our profiles aren’t going to these birth mothers.” It’s important to understand the process on the other side of your adoption, the birth mother’s steps, as she researches or chooses adoption for her child.
Keeping perspective about the adoption process is key. Adoptive parents go through a lot to get ready to adopt; birth mothers are assured that the adoptive parents they learn about are ready to move forward when SHE’S ready. At Lifetime, a mother researching adoption will get a selection of adoptive parent profiles of families who line up with what she's seeking for her child; she’ll learn about adoptive families who would say yes to a match if chosen. For adoptive parents this means knowing that their profile IS going to the mothers they would consider a “perfect match” and it’s to the benefit of the entire adoption process for everyone that it’s the birth mother’s decision as to who she allows to adopt her baby. Once she chooses an adoptive family, she’ll complete a few simple steps to talk with them and decide if she’s ready to match and move the adoption matching process forward. We never delay in letting adoptive parents know that a mother is ready to match!
Be assured, as you stay ready and available, there will be a mother who sees you as the "perfect match" for her child.
Stay tuned on our blog, we’ll share part two of this series, “What Adoptive Parents Ask.”