Adoptive Families Blog

How to Encourage a Healthy Open Adoption

Posted by Mardie Caldwell on October 17, 2019

When most people think of adoption, they imagine adoptions of the past when closed adoption was the norm. Society's views on adoption have evolved over the years, and now most private or independent adoptions are open adoptions. In fact, only 5% of infant adoptions are closed, according to a 2012 survey of 100 private adoption agencies.

What this means for you is that more than likely, you will have an open adoption with your child's birth mother. 

There are varying degrees of contact in an open adoption arrangement, from emails sent through an adoption professional to annual in-person visits. Open adoption comes with many benefits for everyone in the adoption triad: adoptive parents, adoptee, and birth parents.

Birth parents know that open adoption does not mean that you share custody. You are the parents, and they will respect this. They simply want to know how their child is doing and that they made the right decision. I've seen so many great open adoptions and wonderful birth mother relationships. You should be open and honest about the amount of involvement she will have with the baby. 

By setting healthy boundaries, the adoption experience will be a happier one for you, your baby, and the birth parents. Keep reading to learn about open adoption agreements, the hospital experience in open adoption, topics to discuss with your child's birth parents, and more!

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Topics: Open Adoption, visit with birth family, open adoption visits, relationship with birth mother, what is open adoption like?, open adoption agreement

How to Deal When Your Parents Are Anti-Open Adoption

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on June 6, 2019

Today, we address a question from a hopeful adoptive mom who is concerned that she won't have support from her family during the adoption journey:

"My husband and I are so excited to adopt! We've always known that we wanted to adopt a baby.  But, our parents and grandparents don't seem to understand why we'd want an open adoption.

Yesterday, my dad asked me why we want the birth family to remain in our lives. And my grandma has made it clear that she looks down on birth mothers; she doesn't think they should be able to choose their baby's parents.

How can we get the support of our families during the adoption process? I'm worried about the impact that their negative views of open adoption will have on our future child!"

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Topics: Relationships, Open Adoption, Adoption journey, Support adoption, visit with birth family, open adoption visits, is open adoption co-parenting?

How to Deal With Fear About Birth Parents

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on January 17, 2019

Many adoptive families fear relationships with their child’s birth family. They are unsure of how it will impact their relationship with their child. Patricia Dischler, author of Because I Loved You, helps adoptive parents understand what it means to have a relationship with their child’s birth family. Today, over 90% of domestic adoptions are open adoptions, with relationships between birth families and adoptive children.

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Topics: Open Adoption, visit with birth family, relationship with birth mother, what is open adoption like?, is open adoption co-parenting?

Nervous About Birth Parents?

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on November 24, 2015

Are you nervous about talking to and potentially meeting the birth parents who are thinking of matching with you? You may be wondering what they're like, what they'll ask, how you should act, and what you should say.

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Topics: birth mother, visit with birth family

What is a Birth Mom Like?

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on November 19, 2015

Here's a question we recently were asked by a couple thinking about adopting a baby through Lifetime:

"We're nervous about talking with a birth mom on the phone. What are they like? What should we expect? How do we talk to her?"

Hear Adoption Expert Mardie Caldwell's answer in this short video:

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Topics: Open Adoption, Mardie Caldwell, Birth Mothers, birthmother contact, adoption tip, adoption video,, visit with birth family

Open Adoption – Does It Intimidate You?

Posted by Mardie Caldwell on November 2, 2015

Many times when speaking to potential adoptive parents, I find that they become a little nervous when the conversation gets to the open part of open adoption.

I've found that many parents simply don't know what to expect. When they hear about sharing letters and photos (or even visits) with a birth mother, they often become quite uncomfortable.

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Topics: Open Adoption, Talking to Birthmothers, visit with birth family, open adoption visits

Open Adoption Visits: Top 10 Places to Meet Up

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on October 6, 2015

Most birth mothers today want an open adoption. Open adoption can mean anything from posting photos of your child on Facebook, to meeting in person.

Deciding on the appropriate place to meet up in-person can sometimes be tricky. Today, we’re going to share a few tips and ideas for open adoption visit locations.

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Topics: Open Adoption, Adoption Tips, Domestic Adoption, visit with birth family, open adoption visits