Adoptive Families Blog

Did you know that tomorrow is national 'Make a Difference Day'? On October 28th, volunteers across U.S. unite for Make A Difference Day, the largest single-day of service nationwide annually. This day was founded in 1992, with the goal of improving the lives of others. 

Tomorrow, consider giving back to the cause of adoption. The nonprofit organization Lifetime Adoption Foundation supports children, women, and families in domestic open adoption. They provide support to birth mothers through scholarships, food, clothing, and assistance with other needs. The Foundation also provides adoption grants to hopeful adoptive parents. Every contribution (no matter how small) will make a difference in the lives of children, birth mothers, and adoptive parents.  Keep reading to learn how you can contribute!

Here's a question that was asked during one of Lifetime's recent Facebook Live video sessions: "I've checked out the birth parents seeking families on your website. Some have very specific things they’re looking for in adoptive parents. Why is that? Do you ask birth parents to open up on their preferences and also look at other families?" This is a great question, and we're going to share our answer with you here today!

We proudly offer educational scholarships in deep appreciation to birthmothers who have chosen adoption for their children. They have enabled others to experience the joy of becoming parents and created futures, not only for those families, but also for their children, for a lifetime.

Here is a sweet update from a birthmother that we rewarded a scholarship to.

Mother’s Day is approaching quickly and while many will wait until the last minute to even think about gifts or plans to celebrate the moms in their lives, there are some who wish they could stop thinking about the holiday.

In an open adoption, birth parents have the opportunity to select the family who will parent their child. The adoptive parents and birth parents may speak, meet, and get to know each other before the birth, and then communicate afterwards, as well. As the birth mother progresses in her pregnancy, she can send ultrasound photos and share additional photos, if desired. Communication after adoption can take many forms. These can include communication via a website, (such as a social networking site or a private web site), text messaging, email, phone calls, and even old fashioned letters and pictures sent in the mail. Visits after adoption may occur, but are usually casual in nature and do not involve leaving the child alone with the birth family. They involve the birth mother (or birth family) getting together with the adoptive parents and the child for lunch, a visit at a park, or perhaps even a day at a county fair, for example. Open adoption is not co-parenting, but can be seen as more people to love your child.

Some birth mothers who have health insurance and good jobs and can afford rent or live with parents or with boyfriends will not ask for financial assistance. Others are poor and will need your help. State laws dictate how much you can help your birth mother with expenses such as food, rent, medical care, gas, and maternity clothing. So you’ll want to make sure to check with your adoption attorney about allowable expenses.

Adoption expert and founder of Lifetime Adoption Mardie Caldwell has a lot of experience with the topic of birth mother expenses.

Q Dear Lifetime,
My wife and I are nervous to put ourselves in a position of being vulnerable. We have tried for so long to have a baby; I don’t think we could take it if a birth mom tried to reclaim her newborn…Does that happen often? We just want to be parents, but the whole process is nerve-wracking.
-Tom

A: Dear Tom,
You really don’t need to be. I cannot guarantee you that it could never happen. However, the overwhelming majority of adoptions are finalized quietly and happily. They experience no difficulty and everyone is content with the agreement. The media tends to focus in on and sensationalize the rare exception to this rule. Happy endings don’t always make for exciting television or magazine stories.

“I don’t really know what to say…. This is so hard for me to write this, because my feelings are almost too strong to put into words…” writes a young Birth Mother. “I am 18 weeks pregnant with an amazing baby girl…. Her name is supposed to be Jaya Anila (it means victory in the wind). I love her very much and I have struggled back and forth for a long time with my decision.

Some birth mothers are set with health insurance and secure financially. Many are not. In most states, adoptive parents can assist the birth mothers with critical expenses during their pregnancy and birth experience. It is always important to check with your adoption attorney to confirm the laws in your state regarding this sensitive issue. Here is a list of acceptable expenses: