Adoptive Families Blog

What Happens When Adoptive Parents Change Their Minds?

Posted by Mardie Caldwell, C.O.A.P. on January 2, 2020

Fernando and Angela Martin had struggled with infertility since they first decided to grow their family. They came to our adoption center two years ago to explore their options, but they were not quite ready to pursue adoption. Now, several failed infertility treatments and over $50,000 later, they were ready.  

It only took a few months to locate a birth mother for Fernando and Angela. The eager-to-be adoptive parents met their potential birth mother, Janette, and they really hit it off. Janette thought Fernando and Angela were perfect, and she chose them to become parents to her unborn baby. Shortly after, this adoption took a difficult turn.  

Adopting after infertility invites even more emotional intensity into the already complex adoption process. I saw this when Angela walked into my office one afternoon, anxious and unsure. She said she needed to talk.  

“Janette’s a great person,” she said. “Very positive and outgoing.”

“I knew you’d like each other,”  I replied.

“Yes,” she hesitated. “But we’re declining her offer.”

Read More

Topics: infertility to adoption,, adoption match, adoption disruption