As with all family planning, it's common that the hopeful mom-to-be stands as the focus. Loved ones may be sensitive to women waiting for a child. Doctors assisting couples through pregnancy or infertility may focus on the mother-to-be. In adoption, there may be a tendency to direct materials and questions to the prospective adoptive mom. Even a birth mother may prefer to engage more with the adoptive mom, than with the adoptive father. When hoping, planning, and waiting for a child, it seems it's a woman's world.
It's easy to assume women longing for parenthood have a harder time than the hopeful fathers-to-be. With different styles of expressing emotional longing and coping with waiting, it may be easier to understand a woman's heart for pending parenthood, simply because she may be more likely to speak out than a man. However, a lack of voice does not mean a lack of similar experience.
Many hopeful dads feel overlooked along a path to parenthood. With Father's Day this Sunday, let's recognize the men who may be longing for a child. Lift up the husbands who want to be strong and supportive for their wives hoping for motherhood. Encourage the guys who wait patiently to be called "Daddy." Remember the men who may have lost a child or been disappointed by infertility. Find a way to let them know their journey to fatherhood is preparing them for the child who will rely on them one day.
Dads-to-be: you do so many things that make a difference every day. Each moment you wait for a child is a day you are equipped for fatherhood. The perseverance, patience, skills, and sense of humor you gain along this path are readying you for many times your child, or your family, will look to you. Though your role at this moment may feel passive, you are very much an active and key player on this path to parenthood. You are being watched. Your strength and character do not go unnoticed. The love you already show for your family-to-be is moving you all forward toward that future you long for.
Happy Father's Day to all the new and seasoned dads, and to the future-fathers who will become an amazing asset to your child.
Here’s a special Father’s Day message, from Lifetime Adoption’s Founder (and adoptive mom) Mardie Caldwell:
If you are thinking about becoming a parent through adoption, the first step is to apply online. We are happy to answer any questions as you consider your future family options. Just email us, or call (530) 271-1740.