Adoptive Families Blog

How to Overcome Your Fear of Bonding with Your Adopted Child

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on March 12, 2019

Mother and daughter hug each otherChris and Amanda encountered a fear that many adoptive parents experience during the adoption process. They worried they might not be able to love a child that was not of their bodies. The couple recently shared the incredible story of how they overcame that fear.

After struggling with infertility, the couple started to consider adoption. Amanda admits that at first, she wondered if she'd be unable to bond with someone else’s child. This adoption fear made her unsure of whether or not they should pursue adoption.

Luckily, Chris and Amanda had a wonderful experience that helped them overcome this fear. The couple went to the House of Prayer every Monday night for a two-hour worship session. One night, they walked in, and there was one person in the center on her knees praying.

It was their friend who they had not seen in years. When she turned around and saw Chris and Amanda, she imminently walked up to them and told them she had been looking all over for them. The members of her church had told her to go to the worship center and pray. God would answer her prayers and bring Chris and Amanda to her.

She continued to tell Chris and Amanda that she was in the middle of a difficult custody battle. The family court wanted to remove her child from her home during the dispute and needed a place for the child by the very next day. If they couldn’t find a family friend to take her, the child would have to be placed in foster care.

Chris and Amanda were immediately faced with having to decide whether or not to help. They felt that God wanted them to help. They interviewed with family court and the next day the three-year-old was brought to their home. Chris and Amanda were initially told that the child would be with them for 90 days. Ninety days turned into five months.

Amanda and Chris bonded with the toddler immediately. She wanted to call them "mommy Amanda" and "daddy Chris." They did their best to emphasize to her that her mommy still loved her and was fighting to get her back, but at the same time they gave everything to her and loved her very deeply even though they knew it was a temporary situation.

Chris explains that God placed this child with them to teach them that if they gave their hearts and loved and cared for one another, they would easily be able to bond with their adopted child. Chris and Amanda waited over a year to adopt. They turned to their faith and trusted that God would place the right child with them at the right time.

If you are interested in adoption but worried about being able to bond with a child that is not biologically yours, give us a call at 530-271-1740.

We would be happy to talk with you about your concerns to help you decide if
adoption is right for you.

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Topics: adoptive parenting, bonding in adoption, bonding with adopted baby