Adoptive Families Blog

Help! I'm Obsessing Over Our Adoption

Posted by Mardie Caldwell on December 21, 2015

obsessed_adoptive_mom.jpgDear Mardie,

I feel like I have become obsessed with adoption and my plans for becoming a mother.  Pregnancy announcements on Facebook are hitting me much harder than usual and it is difficult to not feel envious, like it isn’t fair.  I feel like I need to take a step back.  Do you have any advice?

It is hard to keep a balance between being diligent waiting to adopt and obsession.  You want to do all you can, yet it is unreasonable to live adoption 24/7 and stay in a healthy mental place.  Here are a few tips that can help you step back, while staying active:

Journal
Take some time alone to capture your hopes and dreams.  For me, I try to read a daily devotional or spend some time in the Bible and then journal my reflections.  I put on music and sit in a place that brings me joy and peace. Even just 15 minutes can make a difference. 

Volunteer
Whenever you get your mind wrapped up in what you lack, it is beneficial to take your time and talents and use them to help someone else, especially someone who has less than you do.  Find a church or non-profit that has a program you can help with.  Giving to others has a funny way of making us feel more thankful for what we do have, refocusing us.

Checking-In with Your Adoption Professional

Maintain your regular monthly adoption check-ins either by phone or email with your adoption coordinator, whatever is most comfortable during this time. Stay focused and positive, and ask for resources if you need them. If you have done everything to keep yourself ready to adopt, look at other things you can do, creating your short video for your web page or updating your profile.

Stay Positive

Visit the archive of webinars to listen to positive adoption stories if you are getting the blues or feeling hopeless.   Adoptions are happening, and your time will come.  Staying inspired will help you stay positive and hopeful

Change Your Routine

If you have certain habits, like checking Facebook or talking to certain people, which often result in anxiety, change the habits.  Sometimes it is easier to change our habit than to change our reaction.  Over time, the reaction may change after the routine is broken. 

Above all, stay focused on the positive outcome you are working toward.  In my adoption, I worked on it diligently an hour a day, then put it away.  I encourage you to stay focused in a way that benefits your emotional health and well-being.  God bless!

You can listen to positive adoption stories by clicking the image here:

New Call-to-action

Topics: Adoption journey, adoption Q&A, adoption tip