Adoptive Families Blog

Show Your Birthmother You Care!

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on March 21, 2013

So you are talking to a birthmother for the first time, or maybe you are matched waiting for your baby to be born…Most birthmothers want know you care about her.

Here are 6 ways to reach out and show her you truly appreciate her:

  1. Ask how she’s been feeling in the past few days and if you can do anything for that might make her more comfortable. Let her see you are concerned about her well being, and not just about the baby.
  2. Show her you value and appreciate her as a friend, not just as a gateway to your baby.
  3. Care enough about her to ask where she wants to go in life. Find out her goals and dreams, her hobbies and interests. She will appreciate your interest and who knows, you may find you have more in common!
  4. Remember not to judge her and just accept her as she is. She has chosen you and values what you have to offer her child – repay her choice by offering compassion and understanding.
  5. Be clear in your responses to her and don’t try to play games. This isn’t the time or place to exhibit control or make demands. Let Lifetime help if you have concerns.
  1. Follow through with what you say you will do. It’s quite possible that you are the most stable people in her life right now. She is going out on a limb to trust you and you need to show her you are worthy of that trust.

Topics: Adoption Tips, Birthmother, Talking to Birthmothers