Adoptive Families Blog

Mondays with Mardie

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on April 8, 2013

Dear Mardie,

I won’t lie; my husband and I are hesitant about the “open” part of open adoption. In fact, that’s why we are seriously moving toward international adoption. Somehow I feel like I just don’t get why open adoption is or can be a good thing. Am I missing something here? --Maria

Dear Maria,

I understand exactly how you feel. I felt the same way before I learned more about it. Here is what really spoke to me… Imagine if your husband disappeared and you never again saw him, heard from him, or knew what happened to him. You would live with a constant longing, wondering, and hole in your life that you couldn’t quite fill.

That is what it can be like for both birth parents and adopted children, regardless of whether their adoption was domestic or international. There are people out there somewhere that are a part of them yet they don’t know who, where, or even why.

I would encourage you not to choose international adoption solely out of fear. Learn about open adoption from friends, online webinars, and adoption books

No matter your path to your child, the topic of birth parents will arise and you need to be confident in your ability to handle it.

Topics: Open Adoption