Adoptive Families Blog

Adoption Advice: Don’t Be Offended

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on January 7, 2013

One of the best pieces of advice, I ever received, was to not be offended by others. Chances are, it has nothing to do with you at all! It is easy to be put off by a thoughtless comment or a perceived slight. “Why didn’t the Johnsons invite us to their annual summer BBQ? Mary ignored me at the party! She must hate me for some reason… Since we adopted Sarah, the Millers never call. What is their problem?!?”

Often, we look at a situation from our point of view and have difficulty seeing it through another’s eyes. In reality, the other person is looking at things from a whole separate perspective. Most do not intend to insult or skip over their friends. The focus was not on you; it was on them. When you let hurt feelings control your actions, it can further divide relationships and take the focus off God’s plan for your life.

There is no way to control what others may or may not do. Everyone in your life will let you down at one time or another. On occasion, you will disappoint loved ones and not even know it! We are only human and we are going to make mistakes. The ability to forgive and move on is a key component to a happy life. God wants us to be people who are hard to offend and quick to forgive. This is not only a sign of spiritual maturity, but of a productive and peace-filled person.

When working with your attorneys, adoption coordinators and social workers, try to remember this concept. Be patient and kind. Be gentle and positive. Take control of how you respond to situations, because your response is really the only thing you can control.

If someone on your adoption team offends or frustrates you, take a moment to breathe and think through the situation. If it is a problem worth discussing, then calmly share your apprehensions regarding the situation. Your adoption team wants a happy ending for your family and will do what they can to remedy the problem.

Our thoughts and attitudes are powerful influences that can instantly transform life events. Do not be emotionally weighed down by the clutter of negative emotions. Be a person that is not easily offended. In times of trouble and distress, let Jesus quiet your spirit. In John 16:33, we learn “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”

Topics: Adoption, Christian Adoption, Adoption Tips, Waiting to Adopt