Adoptive Families Blog

A Message from the Heart of a Birth Mother

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on May 24, 2013

I don’t really know what to say…. This is so hard for me to write this, because my feelings are almost too strong to put into words…” writes a young Birth Mother. “I am 18 weeks pregnant with an amazing baby girl…. Her name is supposed to be Jaya Anila (it means victory in the wind). I love her very much and I have struggled back and forth for a long time with my decision.

I am a junior at Brown University. I am there on scholarship and student loans. I work hard to make straight A’s in my classes and plan to become a civil engineer. My parents are a very traditional Indian couple. I don’t know how they would react to the mistakes I have made. I don’t mean that Jaya is a mistake… She is going to be perfect and make a difference in the world.

I’ve tried to convince myself that we could make it… But I haven’t even been able to buy her anything. It is hard enough just taking care of myself! It isn’t fair to her to try and bring her up on my own. My parents would surely disown me for shaming them. I wish I had a family that was accepting and supportive, no matter what. But, I don’t… I want Jaya to have the best in life. Right now, I can’t give her that. I have to find someone else to love my daughter…”

These painful heartfelt words come from a birth mother who wants you to know her story. The names and places have been changed to protect her identity. The message is clear! She loves her baby and is choosing to give her baby the ultimate gift; the gift of a loving and stable family.

As waiting adoptive parents, the image comes to mind of a 16 year old girl that “made a mistake” and found out she was pregnant. This situation does happen, however every story is different. Many birth moms that contact Lifetime are in their twenties and thirties. Some have fallen on hard times and have multiple children. They struggle to provide a home for the children they already have. Some women are trying to finish college degrees. Some women come from rigid households. Some birth fathers are absent and unsupportive.

In my own domestic adoption, I know very little about my son Cory’s birth mother. I don’t even have medical records. We have a few photos and cards with her signature. Months after the adoption, we lost contact.

I wish I could tell her that Cory is doing well. He lives and works here on the farm. He has a lovely wife that adores and supports him! I am blessed to call him my son. I can’t imagine a life without Cory in it.

My heart swells with gratitude to all birth mothers. They have chosen life for their babies. Some have chosen adoptive parents to give their babies the best start in life. Colossians 1:9 says, “Since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of His will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding.” I pray blessings over your lives every morning!

Blessings,

Mardie

Topics: Adoption, Birthmother, Awareness