Question: Do I get to see a picture of the birth mom or the child before I agree to adopt the child? My husband and I want someone who will blend in with our family. I don't want the adoption to be obvious. Can I choose to adopt a child that looks like me? At what point in the adoption process do we get to see a photo?
Answer: Many hopeful adoptive parents have asked this question in the beginning stages of their adoption research.
Lifetime Adoption's Founder & adoptive mother Mardie Caldwell addresses the question "can we see photos of birth mothers?" in this short video:
Very few birth mothers give us photographs of themselves. It puts lots of pressure on her to request photos, and Lifetime doesn’t want our birth mothers to feel as if they’re being judged on their looks only. Some may feel as if their baby is being rejected if an adoptive family were to turn down the opportunity to adopt based on appearances. When a birth mother is interested in you, Lifetime Adoption will always share the basic information we’ve received. This includes things such as the race of her baby, whether she used substances during her pregnancy, and what her hopes are for future contact.
As you match and develop a relationship with the birth mother, Lifetime can then ask for photos later on. As she gets to know you and trust you, she’ll be open to sharing more with you. We really want for her to feel that you’re here for her and her child!
Some hopeful adoptive families complain that if birth mothers see their photos, they should be able to see hers as well. Lifetime encourages you to have a positive outlook on the prospect of a match. It’s wonderful to be able to have the basic information on the birth mother, not to mention the fact that you’ll soon be parents! It's important to have confidence in the path you've chosen for growing your family. Adoption is a positive, loving choice.