We hope that you've been enjoying Lifetime Adoption's blog series “Before You Adopt,” which gives helpful tips and tasks that you can get done during your adoption wait.
Today, we’re sharing tips with you about how you can prepare your parents for your upcoming open adoption. Read on to discover how you can help your future baby's grandparents understand the modern style of domestic adoption and how the open adoption process works.
Your parents probably have no clue what you mean when you refer to "open adoption." They likely have several misconceptions on adoption, based on their knowledge of adoptions as they used to happen. We've touched on some misunderstandings your parents and other family members have about adoption in these Lifetime Adoption blog post articles: Adoption Myths Dispelled and Three Common Myths About Babies for Adoption.
In the past, adoptions were closed, and the birth family didn't choose the adoptive couple. Also, the adoptee grew up never knowing his or her birth parents, and the adoptive couple had no access to their child's medical history. The shame of closed adoption caused adopted children to feel like there was something wrong with their biological heritage. With no info on their birth parents, many adopted children came to believe that they were given away because they were ugly or "bad." Young, unwed mothers lived in maternity homes until they delivered, at which point their parents made them relinquish their babies.
Thankfully, open adoption allows birth parents to have control over their life, by making a plan for their baby. They're able to work through feelings of grief much more quickly and easily. Adopted children are able to understand where they came from, and why their birth parents chose adoption. And, adoptive parents can answer questions their child has about where they came from, as well as having access to medical info about their child in the case of illness.
So that your parents and family members can be prepared for your adoption, we suggest that you refer them to books about open adoption. Lifetime's Founder (and adoptive mother) Mardie Caldwell has written multiple books about how modern adoption works. Check out AdoptingOnline.com, Adoption: Your Step-by-Step Guide, or Called to Adoption. You can even download Called to Adoption for them in an e-book format by clicking below: