As you wait for a birth mother to choose you, there may be a wide range of emotions you're experiencing from excitement to apprehension. Adoption is unpredictable: adoptions don’t typically occur in an organized, scheduled way. You may feel that you have little to no control over what happens during your adoption wait. But you do have control: you can control what you're doing to get ready for an adoption match.
In this episode of our "Before You Adopt" series, we're sharing about another activity that you can do before you adopt, and that's to learn more about birth mothers. Read on to discover why educating yourselves about birth mothers now will benefit you later!
Consider this: if every birth mother were living a life that was easy, then she wouldn’t be thinking about adoption. Birth mothers typically have little support, are living paycheck to paycheck, and have been through a lot. Part of what we can do for them is to show them simple kindness and compassion.
Hopeful adoptive families who know a bit about what their birth mother is about are able to realize a stronger relationship with her. Also, learning about birth mothers and their situation will help you explain your child's adoption story to him or her in the future, when they ask about their birth mom.
Here are a few resources to learn about birth mothers and their situation:
Birth Mother Blogs:
Following Lifetime Adoption's blog for women considering adoption will allow you to read firsthand about the guidance and tips we're providing to potential birth mothers. Many women feel confused or conflicted when they begin looking into adoption. Our Birth Mother blog seeks to provide them with clarity by giving information about how adoption works. We also answer frequently-asked questions about making an adoption plan, and share birth mother's adoption stories.
Things I Wish All Adoptive Parents Knew
Written from a birth mother's point-of-view, this list shares 15 things she wants all adoptive parents to know. You can read it over at InfantAdoptionGuide.com.
So I Was Thinking About Adoption:
This book was written by Lifetime's Founder, Mardie Caldwell, and covers every aspect of adoption. The book helps women become better informed about how open adoption works. While there definitely isn't a "typical" birth mother archetype or a standard birth mother, this book will give you a glimpse into where these women are coming from. You can purchase it on Amazon through this link:
So I Was Thinking About Adoption.
Over at AdoptionWebinar.com, you can hear and watch webinars of birth mothers sharing about their adoption experience. The birth mothers sharing their story in these webinars give insight from their personal experience, as well as answer questions from the audience. Their touching answers will help you see the beauty that open adoption offers a mother, a couple, and a child. It's free to tune into webinars at AdoptionWebinar.com; you simply need to register first.