Birth Parents Blog

Worried if Adoption is Right for You? 7 Questions to Ask

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on August 29, 2017

I'm worried if adoption is right for me!If you’re thinking about adoption for your child, we know you've got questions. How do you know if it's the right choice? How will you explain your decision to people? What will you child grow up thinking about you? All of these "what-if" questions spinning in your head probably have you feeling stressed and worried. So, if you find yourself asking, "Is adoption right for me?" Hopefully, we can guide you through this confusing time.

Today, Lifetime is giving you 7 important questions that are asked by women considering adoption. Find these questions below, as well as their answers!

1. How does adoption work?

You're in the driver's seat as you create your own adoption plan. First, you get in touch with Lifetime so you can get info, share about your situation, and tell us what you're hoping for in adoptive parents. We'll mail you profile booklets about the adoptive couples who match what you're seeking (don't worry; we mail it in a plain, unmarked package). Or, you can browse adoptive families right here on our website. The adoptive parents are carefully screened to make sure that your baby is placed in a safe and loving home. You're able to interview the adoptive parents before you make your pick, and keep in touch in the future.  

2. How do I know adoption is right for me and my baby?

It's important that you know all the info about adoption before making a decision. So, Lifetime will provide you with lots of info about adoption, and we encourage you to take your time as you learn about it. 

Here are some questions you can think about if you're wondering whether adoption is right for you:

  • What type of parents do I want to raise my child?
  • Is their religion or race important to me?
  • Do I want to meet them in person?
  • Is the adoptive couple able to give my child a financially and emotionally stable environment?
  • How much contact do I want with my baby afterward?
  • Will I want to have some time with my baby after the birth? For how long?

3. How will I explain to people who disagree with my adoption decision?

You don't owe anyone an explanation for your decision. Being a parent is a lifetime responsibility, and if you're not able to do that right now, choosing adoption is a responsible and loving decision. 

4. What if I change my mind?

Before all the forms are signed, you can change your mind. But the longer you wait, the harder it may be. So we suggest going slowly and taking things one step at a time. If you want counseling, be sure to let your Adoption Coordinator know. There’s no cost to you to get counseling, and it can help you to talk about your feelings. If you feel guilt or heartache, it doesn’t mean that your adoption decision was wrong. Think about the reasons you chose adoption in the first place.

5. What is an "open adoption"?

In an open adoption, you can have ongoing contact with your child and the adoptive family you chose. This might be through email updates, posts on social media, phone calls, or it may be through in-person visits. It's up to you! Open adoption also means that you hand-pick the parents for your baby, putting you in power in the situation. 

6. What if I want to hear about my child as he/she grows up?

In many cases, birth mothers and adoptive parents have contact over the years. As you create your adoption plan, you can decide on the type and amount of contact you would like to have with your child and the adoptive family.

7. What if I want to write a letter to my child after he/she is adopted?

We encourage this! Your letter can explain to your child your reasons for choosing adoption, details about you, details about your family, and your wishes for your child as they grow up.

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Choosing to go forward with adoption can be an emotional process, even if you're positive you can't parent right now. Be sure to take care of yourself and surround yourself with people who love and support you so that you can make the best decision for you and your baby.

Do you have an adoption question that wasn’t answered here? Call or text
Lifetime Adoption anytime at 1-800-923-6784.

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Topics: is adoption selfish, is adoption right for me