Adoptive Families Blog

A Birthmother Update

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on Apr 21, 2015 7:00:00 AM

We proudly offer educational scholarships in deep appreciation to birthmothers who have chosen adoption for their children. They have enabled others to experience the joy of becoming parents and created futures, not only for those families, but also for their children, for a lifetime.

Here is a sweet update from a birthmother that we rewarded a scholarship to.

 

Read More

Topics: Birthmother, Adoption Update

From the Heart of a Birth Mother...

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on May 9, 2014 1:38:46 AM

Read More

Topics: Adoption, Birth Mother's Day, Birthmother, Awareness, Celebrating adoption

“I Can’t Do Mother’s Day:” 5 Reasons to be Compassionate this Mother’s Day

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on May 5, 2014 3:44:00 AM

Mother’s Day is approaching quickly and while many will wait until the last minute to even think about gifts or plans to celebrate the moms in their lives, there are some who wish they could stop thinking about the holiday.

Read More

Topics: Adoption, Birthmother, Mother's Day, Infertility, Motherhood, Adopting a Baby

5 Easy Ideas for Ongoing Communication in an Open or Semi-Open Adoption

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on Jun 18, 2013 6:15:23 AM

In an open adoption, birth parents have the opportunity to select the family who will parent their child. The adoptive parents and birth parents may speak, meet, and get to know each other before the birth, and then communicate afterwards, as well. As the birth mother progresses in her pregnancy, she can send ultrasound photos and share additional photos, if desired. Communication after adoption can take many forms. These can include communication via a website, (such as a social networking site or a private web site), text messaging, email, phone calls, and even old fashioned letters and pictures sent in the mail. Visits after adoption may occur, but are usually casual in nature and do not involve leaving the child alone with the birth family. They involve the birth mother (or birth family) getting together with the adoptive parents and the child for lunch, a visit at a park, or perhaps even a day at a county fair, for example. Open adoption is not co-parenting, but can be seen as more people to love your child.

Read More

Topics: Open Adoption, Adoption Tips, Birthmother

Mardie’s Top 7 Tips on Birth Mother Expenses

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on Jun 11, 2013 7:40:18 AM

Some birth mothers who have health insurance and good jobs and can afford rent or live with parents or with boyfriends will not ask for financial assistance. Others are poor and will need your help. State laws dictate how much you can help your birth mother with expenses such as food, rent, medical care, gas, and maternity clothing. So you’ll want to make sure to check with your adoption attorney about allowable expenses.

Adoption expert and founder of Lifetime Adoption Mardie Caldwell has a lot of experience with the topic of birth mother expenses.

Read More

Topics: Adoption, Adoption Tips, Birthmother

Will the Birth Mom Take Back Her Baby?

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on Jun 4, 2013 6:38:51 AM

Q Dear Lifetime,
My wife and I are nervous to put ourselves in a position of being vulnerable. We have tried for so long to have a baby; I don’t think we could take it if a birth mom tried to reclaim her newborn…Does that happen often? We just want to be parents, but the whole process is nerve-wracking.
-Tom

A: Dear Tom,
You really don’t need to be. I cannot guarantee you that it could never happen. However, the overwhelming majority of adoptions are finalized quietly and happily. They experience no difficulty and everyone is content with the agreement. The media tends to focus in on and sensationalize the rare exception to this rule. Happy endings don’t always make for exciting television or magazine stories.

Read More

Topics: Adoption, Birthmother, Adopting a Baby

A Message from the Heart of a Birth Mother

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on May 24, 2013 6:55:22 AM

“I don’t really know what to say…. This is so hard for me to write this, because my feelings are almost too strong to put into words…” writes a young Birth Mother. “I am 18 weeks pregnant with an amazing baby girl…. Her name is supposed to be Jaya Anila (it means victory in the wind). I love her very much and I have struggled back and forth for a long time with my decision.

Read More

Topics: Adoption, Birthmother, Awareness

Learn About Birth Mother Expenses

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on May 21, 2013 5:49:39 AM

Some birth mothers are set with health insurance and secure financially. Many are not. In most states, adoptive parents can assist the birth mothers with critical expenses during their pregnancy and birth experience. It is always important to check with your adoption attorney to confirm the laws in your state regarding this sensitive issue. Here is a list of acceptable expenses:

Read More

Topics: Adoption Tips, Birthmother

Will a Birth Mother Choose Us if I'm Overweight?

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on May 8, 2013 5:16:19 AM

One of the questions our Adoption Coordinators get asked by potential adoptive families is: "I am overweight...will I ever get chosen by a birth mother?" Birth moms are just like you; they come in all shapes and sizes. Some are tall. Some are thin. Some are dark-skinned, some are very fair. There are birth moms who are overweight, as well.

Read More

Topics: Adoption, Adoption Questions, Birthmother, Adopting a Baby

Show Your Birthmother You Care!

Posted by Lifetime Adoption on Mar 21, 2013 1:59:04 AM

So you are talking to a birthmother for the first time, or maybe you are matched waiting for your baby to be born…Most birthmothers want know you care about her.

Here are 6 ways to reach out and show her you truly appreciate her:

  1. Ask how she’s been feeling in the past few days and if you can do anything for that might make her more comfortable. Let her see you are concerned about her well being, and not just about the baby.
  2. Show her you value and appreciate her as a friend, not just as a gateway to your baby.
  3. Care enough about her to ask where she wants to go in life. Find out her goals and dreams, her hobbies and interests. She will appreciate your interest and who knows, you may find you have more in common!
  4. Remember not to judge her and just accept her as she is. She has chosen you and values what you have to offer her child – repay her choice by offering compassion and understanding.
  5. Be clear in your responses to her and don’t try to play games. This isn’t the time or place to exhibit control or make demands. Let Lifetime help if you have concerns.
  1. Follow through with what you say you will do. It’s quite possible that you are the most stable people in her life right now. She is going out on a limb to trust you and you need to show her you are worthy of that trust.
Read More

Topics: Adoption Tips, Birthmother, Talking to Birthmothers